"Thick Necked People Named Gunther"

This is one of my pet peeves. Often times, especially in the SCA, when I mention to someone for the first time that I brew beer, they often respond by saying, "Do you brew dark beer? I mean, I only like dark beer." To which, I always have to ask, "What type of dark beer?"

Do you like dark lagers such as Dark American Lagers, Munich Dunkels, Schwarzbiers, Bocks, Doppelbocks, or Eisbocks? Perhaps you'd like English ales such as Milds, Southern English Browns, Northern English Browns, or English Barleywines. Maybe you fancy a nice Porter such as a Brown Porter, Robust Porter, or Baltic Porter. Maybe a Stout is your style, such as a Dry Stout, Sweet Stout, Oatmeal Stout, Foreign Extra Stout, American Stout, or Russian Imperial Stout. Is a wheat beer for you, such as a Dunkelweizen, or Weizenbock? Something Belgian: Flanders Brown Ale/Oud Bruin, or Belgian Dark Strong Ale?

I feel like Bubba talking to Forrest Gump about all the kinds of shrimp there are.

"I only like dark beer." Ew, it makes me cringe.

Wild Yeast In Brewing

I was reading another blog about brewing called SudsPundit, and I came across a post about something that happened to him when he left some exposed wort out. It started to spontaneously ferment. That got me thinking about wild yeast.

When one thinks of wild yeast in brewing, often, the first thing that comes to mind is Lambic, a Belgian beer that uses spontaneous fermentation. According to the Wikipedia entry on Lambics, up to 86 microorganisms have been identified in Lambic beer. The one that stands out, however, is Brettanomyces, a wild yeast that is characterized by its unique flavor, often called "horse blanket," but also having smoky or spicy characteristics as well.

Most homebrewers that brew Lambic beer do not let them spontaneously ferment, however. Often times that just makes a spoiled beer (which one may argue is exactly what a Lambic is, but I digress). They generally order a wild yeast blend from a yeast manufacturer, such as White Labs, and try to emulate what a spontaneously fermented beer might do. White Labs has a whole host of wild yeasts and bacteria, including three different strains of Brettanomyces, Lactobacillus bacteria, and a blend that is made up of Brettanomyces, Saccharomyces, and the bacterial strains Lactobacillus and Pediococcus.

I have to be honest that I've never made a sour beer. I'm not sure that I even like them, personally, though my experience with them is very little. However, getting back to the spontaneous fermentation that SudsPundit experienced, I did try an experiment many years ago -- like 15 years ago -- in my mead making days. Me and my mead making buddy got a recipe for what they called a "weak honey drink."

This was a mead that was spontaneously fermented, adding no yeast and simply opening up to the air. I remember at the time we were making mead in two liter bottles. Some we added yeast to, and some we didn't. Obviously, the ones that we added yeast to took off right away. The ones that we didn't took some time to take off, and take off they eventually did.

Knowing what I know now about Brettanomyces, one would expect a pellicle to form, a layer of white specks that eventually grow into a cottage cheese looking layer on top of the beer, or in this case, mead. However, that never happened. Also, when it was done, it never tasted like "horse blanket," or sour, or phenolic, or anything that one would expect from wild yeast and bacteria. It never got "sick," a slimy phase that Lambics go through before Brettanomyces has done its thing. I do remember that the fermentation stopped early, and it never dried out, like the ones next to it that we added cultured yeast to. In fact, it was exactly as they described it, a "weak honey drink." It was simply cloudy and sweet, with very little alcohol.

That is as far as my wild yeast adventures have ever gone. Maybe some day I'll experiment with Lambics and the like. I know some brewers love it and have never gone back.

Burp!

Witbier Picture

Quick Tip: Killing Bugs in Brewer's Grain

This is kind of a gross one, but most brewers run into it eventually. In fact, it is a good tip for the summer, as that is when the problem rears its ugly head the most. It is a tip I got from my local brew shop. If you got bugs in your grain, you can kill them by freezing the grain. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Jack Schmidling Productions (JSP) Malt Mill and the Great Grain Mill Debate

There is a topic that is taboo on most brewing discussion boards. Many people have heated arguments over it. In homebrewing, it can be more divisive than religion or politics. Regardless of all that, I'm going to weigh in, and give my opinion. That subject is grain mills.

Grain mills in brewing come basically in two forms: the Corona mills and two-roller mills. Many people have made fine beer with both.

Looking at the Corona mill first. It is the oldest grain mill used in homebrewing. It works by grinding the grain between two plates. They are primarily designed to to make flour for baking. Therein lies the problem.

The problem with the Corona mill is that, because it was made to make flour, it can mill the grain too much. This can lead to stuck sparges. One has to pay close attention to the adjustment to make sure this does not happen. They are priced right, however, at around $60.

The most popular mill in homebrewing, by any stretch of imagination, is the two roller mill. There are many brands: Valley Mill, Barley Crusher, JSP Malt Mill. All will give you a good crush. All are more expensive than the Corona mill. Price wise, they are two to three times as much. They work by crushing the grain between two knurled rollers, leaving the husk intact, but breaking open the contents -- perfect for brewing.

I happen to use the JSP Malt Mill:


"Whoa! Wait one cotton-pickin' minute! What about the Barley Crusher? I mean, it has all metal construction. And, the rollers are adjustable at both sides. And, by the way, the Corona mill makes grist just fine, if you are just careful. You and your stupid Malt Mill. I mean, sheesh."

Sorry, I am a JSP Malt Mill user, and I'm happy with it.

When I was in the market for grain mills, I weighed many options. In fact, the local brew shop used the Valley Mill. I priced them out, and shopped around. As it turned out, the homebrew shop in Flagstaff, Arizona, The Homebrewers Outpost, carried the JSP Malt Mill, and I was traveling to Flagstaff for an SCA event. I did a little research. People seemed happy with it. They were priced well; I think I paid about $150 for mine. So, when I went to Flagstaff, I bought one.

The JSP Malt Mill uses two knurled rollers fabricated from cold rolled steel. The spacing between the rollers is 0.045 inches, which is just narrow enough to crush the grain without turning it into flour, leaving the hull intact. Part of the housing is made of wood, as is the hopper, which holds about three pounds of grain. It comes with a hand crank, though there are places online that document how to motorize it. There is a wooden base that sits perfectly on a five gallon bucket.

To operate the thing, I found that if I brace the bucket between my legs, and push down on the wooden base with my left hand, it gives me enough stability to turn the crank with my right hand. Here is a picture from a few years ago demonstrating the operation. Notice how sexy I look in my socks:


I opted for the adjustable Malt Mill. However, it only has a adjustment on one side, though I have to admit that I've never adjusted it in all the years of usage.

After I bought the thing, I noticed a jump in my efficiency. It went from about 70% to about 80%.

I've put many pounds of grain through the thing and have never had a problem. I highly recommend it. If you are in the market for a grain mill, give the JSP Malt Mill your consideration.

Quitting Smoking: Six Months Smoke Free

It seems like yesterday since Julie and I quit. Now, six months later, we are still smoke free. To be honest, I don't even feel like a smoker anymore. Yes, I still have cravings, and some of them quite strong, but they are few and far between, now.

According to QuitNet, a website devoted to helping people kick the habit, these are my stats:

Your Quit Date is: 12/2/2007 9:30:00 PM
Time Smoke-Free: 183 days, 18 hours
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 1286
Lifetime Saved: 9 days, 19 hours
Money Saved: $309.12

I did the math, and if I were to lay all cigarette butts that I would have smoked end to end, they would stretch over 100 feet. Also, if I were to smoke all those cigarettes back to back, at 10 minutes a piece, I would be smoking almost nine days straight.

I rarely think about it anymore, but today, I was thinking about all the things I don't miss: the coughing until I almost throw up in the morning, the constant gravelly phlegm in my throat. It sounds gross, but I remember sneezing in the car on the way to work, and having to check myself to make sure a big lung bunny was not hanging off my shirt. I remember I'd get this dull pain in my back and chest, like my lungs were on fire, and sucking on a poison stick anyway, even though I could barely stand it. I remember going outside in the worst weather -- rain, hail, bitter cold -- just to poison myself. There was always the pain it was to find a place to eat or a bar to hang out at. They would have to have an area for smokers, or we would not go. I remember visiting the in-laws, who did not know we smoked, and having to hide it, as if they could not smell it on us. Why? All because of that damn addiction.

Temptation still abounds. We have friends who would smoke because we smoked. They would only smoke when we were around. They quit soon after we did. Now that time has passed, they have forgotten what a pain in the ass it was to quit, or maybe it just was not too bad for them; I do not know. He smokes cigars again. I am tempted, but say no, because I know where that road leads. No more tobacco for me, in any form.

We passed the tobacco section of the local supermarket the other day. On a whim, we looked at the prices of our old cigarettes. My wife's old brand was over six dollars, and mine were over seven. Seven dollars! SEVEN FREAKING DOLLARS! Imagine if I was still shelling that out. I remember in college, spending three bucks on a pack of smokes at the bar -- which was way more expensive than a supermarket or gas station, mind you -- and thinking it was a rip off. It has more than doubled that in 10 years.

Now that it has been six months, I officially declare myself a non-smoker. I never have to deal with those damn things again. That is that.